FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. What is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative Divorce is a team approach to divorce that includes gender-balanced mental health professionals who act as divorce coaches, a neutral financial specialist, Collaborative Divorce attorneys, and when needed, a child specialist. Divorcing families receive expert assistance from mental health specialists, and financial and legal experts to help them settle their cases. Each team member assists the family in his/her area of expertise, and then works collaboratively with other team members to help families reach mutually acceptable, viable divorce settlements.The coaches teach communication skills so that parents can better discuss their children's needs and other shared issues. Finances are addressed with the financial specialist, budgets are created and financial skills taught where needed. Even with the cost of additional professionals, the overall cost of most settlements is far less than the litigated approach because the settlement process is more focused and efficient. The parents are in control of their "divorce clock" rather than the courts. The family receives specific and focused divorce assistance that allows for more productive work toward settlement and thus a more efficient use of the family's financial resources.
Collaborative Divorce is an effective, exciting approach to divorce and custody decisions. With the help of trained lawyers whose focus is on a mutually acceptable solution, all participants agree to work together respectfully, honestly and in good faith to find win-win solutions to the legitimate needs of both parties. No one may go to court, or even threaten to do so. If one party threatens to resort to the adversarial approach, the Collaborative Divorce process terminates and all the professionals are disqualified from any further involvement in the case.
2. What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce and mediation?
In mediation, there is one "neutral" professional who helps the disputing parties try to settle their case. The mediator cannot give either party legal advice, and cannot help either side advocate its position. If one side or the other becomes unreasonable or stubborn, lacks negotiating skill or is emotionally charged, the mediation can become unbalanced. As the mediator works to get the process "unstuck" he or she can be viewed as biased by one side or the other. If the mediator does not find a way to deal with the problem, the mediation can break down or the final agreement can be unfair. If there are attorneys for the parties, they may not be present at the negotiation/mediation sessions and their advice may come too late to be helpful.
3. Why does Collaborative Divorce use so many professionals?
Collaborative Divorce allows each professional to focus on issues relevant to their expertise. The concept of "the liberation of delegation" means that any professional, rather than struggling to address an issue that is outside their specialty, immediately refers the client to an appropriate colleague for assistance. This keeps the process moving along and helps to control costs.
4. How much does Collaborative Divorce cost?
Although we stress that clients should not select this approach simply as a low cost alternative, experience across the country suggests that savings over a normal adversarial divorce are in the range of 20 - 40%. This assumes that the adversarial divorce is done with an out of court settlement. When a contested case actually goes to court for a judicial ruling, the cost can be much higher.
5. What kind of information is disclosed and what documents are signed in the Collaborative Divorce process?
Both sides sign a binding agreement to fully and immediately disclose all documents and information related to the issues. Undermining behaviors, such as keeping secrets, hidiing information and tactics that delay the process, are not permitted. All information is shared openly. Attorneys and clients work together to create win-win solutions for all members of the family.
6. Why is Collaborative Divorce such an effective settlement process?
The Collaborative Divorce attorneys take an enlightened approach to helping their clients. They understand that to effectively assist the client, they must help the entire family. Collaborative Divorce attorneys go through their own professional "paradigm shift." Instead of being dedicated to winning the most for their own client, no matter what the human or financial cost, collaborative lawyers are dedicated to helping their clients achieve the healthiest outcome for every family member.
A Collaborative lawyer does not work as a hired gun. They do not take advantage of mistakes inadvertently made by the other side. They expect and encourage the highest good-faith problem-solving behavior from their clients and themselves.
Collaborative attorneys trust one another. They continue to advocate for each client, but do so in a manner that considers all those affected by the decision of the parties. Respect and integrity are hallmarks of the Collaborative Divorce process. The attorneys strive for cooperation and integrity, encouraging each client to aspire to those standards.
Collaborative Divorce was designed to deal more effectively with divorce issues, while maintaining an absolute commitment to settlement. Each party receives expert legal advice, assuring that both have legal advocates available throughout the process. It is the job of the lawyers and coaches to work with their own clients to assure that both parties remain reasonable, positive and productive.
Collaborative Divorce encourages creative problem solving and engages the strengths of all the team members and the clients to achieve the resolution most suitable for the family. Collaborative Divorce attorneys are sensitive to this reality - that to benefit their own client, they must also be supportive of a good settlement for the other party. This is the special characteristic of Collaborative Divorce which is not found in other dispute resolution processes.
7. Is Collaborative Divorce right for my family?
Collaborative Divorce is the healthiest divorce model because it appropriately addresses all of the settlement issues and helps the parties develop more effective ways of dealing with one another. It may be right for your family if you and your spouse:
a. Want an opportunity to obtain emotional, financial and legal help to guide you through your divorce.
b. Are concerned about containing the financial and emotional costs of divorce.
c. Have children and want to make certain their needs are addressed.
d. Want to minimize the conflict that often accompanies divorce and are willing to do what is necessary to be successful in this regard.
e. Want a confidential process without adversarial attorneys and without going to court.
f. Are concerned about your post-divorce relationship with each other.
